Forgotten

Frustration orchestrated Beauty.
Heartbroken stanzas of uncertainty,
replaced peaceful flow with endless sorrow.
Come back to me, my Masterpiece.

Flow with the ease you once found.
Restore my heart to normal sinus sound.
Finish my song with soothing melody around.
Come back to me, my Masterpiece.

"The heart never takes the place of the head: but it can, and should, obey it." ~C.S. Lewis

Heart. Head. Head Heart. Where does the logic come from?  What enforces it?
For the past few months, I've seen (and been involved in) a lot of emotional battles ranging from topics of work, relationships, money, politics, food, body image, jealousy, age, blahblahblah.
What's up with that.
Isn't it ironic how someone can become so overwhelmed with emotion that the typical result is numbness? I guess, for a poor analogy, it could be considered to be a drug. Too much and you might od. Just the right balance and you feel warm and fuzzy for several hours. Addicting.
Then the aching comes. They both have it; heartache, headache.
You can take a low dose off NSAIDS to help rid the pain in your head, but what do you do for your heart? What takes that pain away?
Not sleep. Not starving yourself. Not drinking. Or physically hurting yourself. Those are bandaids.
People have to look up at some point-in-time, right?
But why not look right beside you. And re-evaluate why you're there in the first place. I always appreciate those friends that tell me what I need to hear, even if I don't want to hear it. *note-said information should be told in a loving manner for those of us who are sensitive (and like it that way...thanks, Jewel).

So what more is there to say about this human struggle? I know, how about ask CS Lewis again?

"But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

Word.
Now I just have to take out my earplugs.

Short.

I'm angry.
Who can I punch?

Not much to say.

Events; good and bad. Lots to bring in the New Year. The only thing I want to discuss at the moment is Miep Gies. She died this weekend at the ripe age of 100 . If you don't know who she is, you should probably read Anne Frank's diary. Well, you should read her diary for more than just info about this woman. Anyhow,Miep (and I'm not exactly sure how to pronounce her name, but I like to say "meep" in my head. cause it's fun) and her husband helped hide the Franks in the Annex. And she actually lived to tell about it after it was raided. The only reason I'm talking about this is because I saw a quote the was recently attributed by her and it struck me.

"Imagine young people would grow up with the feeling that you have to be a hero to do your human duty. I am afraid nobody would ever help other people, because who is a hero? I was not. I was just an ordinary housewife and secretary."

At first, I was irritated. I felt like she was completely taking the humble path to the extreme and it was annoying. I didn't see why she just wouldn't accept this deserving compliment. But the more I thought about it, she has a good point. When we so commonly throw around the term "hero, " it does change the definition. And as she so strongly felt, she was acting out her responsibility as a human to help others in need.
So here's my question:
Can people act heroically without actually being a hero?
 I'm not sure. It still might be too early for me to really think about that. Help me out. And bring me a latte.

Cheers.

Because I should be working...

It happens. You wake up and BAM. "Where am I?" Those few moments between sleep and awake can be quite alarming. I've been living there for a few weeks now. Haha. But it's getting better, I swear.
This place that I'm at, this new life I've chosen, is definitely different from anything I could have ever imagined. But I love it. I honest-to-God do. Because it's different. And I'm a creature of much habit who becomes too complacent with being content in my scene of normalcy. That can get a little dangerous.
So things are shaking up a bit.
Have you ever been sitting on a couch and just realize that your life could seem so meaningless? I'm really hoping you're saying "yes" so I'm not the only one. I've been struggling a little with this lately. Mostly because emotions are awesome. And guilt and fear is something that can consume your entire being. But there's a power bigger than emotion, and I'm learing to grab onto it again. I can't deny that I'm right where I'm supposed to. I just kind of wish I could get a little further ahead just a wee bit faster. Oh, the desires of the flesh. How wonderful. Haha.
And that's me. This is where I've been. And these are a few things I'm looking forward to:
Fall. Fall fall fall. Everything that comes with it. And spending it with my amazing husband in our too-big but kick-butt house.
Getting back into my regular exercise schedule. It MUST happen.
Finding out what's really living inside Megan's wall. I think it's a trapped house elf.
Renewing my drivers license and being able to get the little heart put on it for organ donor.
Getting closer with my family. Who ever thought that would happen?!Learning. I thought I already knew everything. Boy, was I wrong.
Stars Hollow.
Wearing sweaters and sweatshirts. Nothing beats comfy clothes.
Bringing out my "warmer" parfumes for the cooler seasons.
Getting a new microwave.
Pumpkin-flavored anything and everything.
New music from Paramore, Muse, and 3DG. Heck. Yes.
Letting go. And letting God.

Ah thank you.
Grace be with you.

Well Wisher

You're breaking bones
Yeah, your heart of stone
Is as cold as they get
You're destroying paths
No, this can't last
Don't you have enough regrets?

Liar, look up from the Well
Cause reflections won't tell you
How lost is your Soul
Love, I hope you can swim
Cause you've got to jump in
And let the Water save your Soul

Don't wait too long to turn around
It's amazing how much Grace can be found
When you've fallen deeper than ever before
My love is waiting, I'll give you Breath
It's the only chance of escaping this Death
Don't you know your life is worth so much more?

Liar, look up from the Well
Cause reflections can't tell you
Where along the road you lost your Soul
Love, I know you can swim
Together we'll jump in
And let the Water save our Souls

You Who Thirst

So here are my latest thoughts, complaints, and ponderings.

Why, oh why, when I decide to get some sunshine during my exercise expeditions, do I always have to pass by someone who is exhaling cigarette smoke right as I'm taking in a deep breath? It never fails. Here I am, trying to extend and improve my quality of life while someone else, who is mostly like not caring about their own let alone someone elses, blows stupid toxins into my lungs. WHY?! Enough. Smoking = not good for you in any way. I said Good Day!

I have done many-a-embarassing things in my life. Nay, not embarassing, but stupid. Downright stupid. Saturday night topped the list. Haha I can't even stop laughing just thinking about it. But because I'm a great friend and entertainer, I will enlighten you.

I was supposed to be filling my car with gas. Well, I did in fact do that quite successfully. What I failed to do was take out the gas hose before I pulled away. In case you were wondering, the gas hoses are brilliantly designed to pop right off if the right amount of torque is presented. And that it did. Well, notsomuch popped as ripped and made a horrible noise. But it dragged behind my car for maybe 3 seconds before I realized what faux pas I made, where I then quickly got out and ran into the little booth where a girl my age was behind the counter. I think I said something like, "Um I just pulled away with your hose in my car, and I wasn't trying to steal gas. I already paid for it." What the heck?! I. Am. Amazing. You're welcome for being my friend.

I will continue to complain about rowdy, noisy cats until they are all gone from our property. I'm sorry if you're a cat lover and this offends or annoys you. To make it up to ya, when Megan catches a cat (and let there be no doubt that she wil) I will put it in your bedroom for you to be able to understand what it's like to be in my shoes. Mmmkay?

I think Megan's as much of a Cat-Baggin fool as I'll ever be Hahaha!

AZ in less than 17 days, Paramore and No Doubt in less than 2 months, wedding in less than 3. What a life!

Hmmm I think that's it...? For now, if you're lucky.

God bless and Harry Potter for the rest.